Zobovor
2024-11-15 17:39:42 UTC
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Permalinkconclusion to the two-part story that started in issue #52. It was
printed on February 28, 1989, with a cover date of June 1989.
The cover is one of the most striking and sexy in the entire
TRANSFORMERS run, with a scantily-clad armored woman (who we'll learn
later is called the First One) holding a deactivated Cloudburst,
clutching him by a handful of loose wiring from the back of his neck, as
if he were a baby kitten. She calls out "NEXT!" as if this was just the
first in her Autobot killing spree. Shades of Circuit Breaker! The
artwork is the first contribution to TRANSFORMERS by comics superstar
Jim Lee, who would later draw the cover for issue #67 as well. It's
worth mentioning that she's illustrated in a far more provocative style
of armor on this cover than she actually appears in the internal
artwork.
The writer was Bob Budiansky, and the artwork was by Jose Delbo
(pencils) and Dave Hunt (inks). Jade Moede gets a credit for lettering
(having already done some of the uncredited lettering in the previous
issue) and Nel Yomtov colored the art.
So when last we left our heroes, Autobot Pretenders Landmine and
Cloudburst had been captured by the robot-eating Meccanibals. They had
sought out the Meccanibals, originally, in search of microchips to
repair the Autobots who had been zapped by the Underbase-powered
Starscream. This issue picks up where the last one left off, with the
meccanibals and their leader, Master Mouth, preparing to eat the
Pretenders after being exposed, revealed to be not just very large
humans in space suits but, in fact, robots in disguise.
Moreover, the Pretenders learn that the reason the Meccanibals have come
into the possession of so many microchips in the first place is because
they're among the remnants of their former robotic meals. I guess
they're the parts they don't actually eat and digest, so they spit 'em
out like gristle. Cloudburst cannot, in good conscience, go through
with the deal, having learned this information. Of course, that's if
either of the Pretenders survive this encounter.
There's a weird narrative shift that takes place between last issue and
this one. In issue #52, Landmine was very clearly the ringleader of the
pair, with Cloudburst more or less following him along as he created one
problematic situation after the next. In this story, for some reason,
Landmine has taken a backseat while Cloudburst seems to be the one
making the decisions now. It's certainly possible that Landmine
realized that his brash approach was causing too many problems for them,
but there's absolutely no narrative indication of this to drive the
point home.
Anyway, the Meccanibals produce a large electro-magnet that is powerful
enough to literally rip the Pretender robots right out of their outer
shells. When they switch off the magnet holding the shells down,
however, the Pretenders realize they can radio-control them, effectively
doubling their numbers and taking the Meccanibals by surprise. This
gambit proves ineffective, however, as the robots are quickly surrounded
and overwhelmed.
Then Cloudburst tries a different approach. He suggests to the
Meccanibals that if they eat him and Landmine, they wouldn't make a very
memorable meal. But with the proper preparation and seasoning (mercury
sauce and lead sulfide crystals and some tasty iron fillings for flavor,
scrum-diddly-umpcious!) they could be transformed into a gourmet dining
experience. This gets Master Mouth's mouth watering and he is more than
willing to entertain the idea. He suggests traveing to planet Femax to
find the crystals in question, on the condition that they'll kill Berko,
who is still their prisoner, if they fail to return with the
ingredients.
Hi-Test and Throttle board the combined form of Dreadwing and give
chase, on the pretense of resuming their robot-spotting job for the
Meccanibals. Sky Lynx, in turn, follows Dreadwing. Arriving on Femax,
the Autobots encounter a group a band of armored female warriors, all
conveniently Transformer-sized. After using their translators to
decipher the language, Cloudburst once again opts to reason with them,
as he did with the Meccanibals. Why not stick with what works, right?
The warriors take them back to their camp to speak with their leader,
the First One.
Outside, Hi-Test and Throttle are momentarily startled by the male
Femaxians, who by comparison look like giants. They combine with
Darkwing and Dreadwind to even the odds, inadvertantly revealing to a
watching Sky Lynx that the robot-spotters are in fact working directly
with some Decepticon robots of their own. The plot thickens!
Landmine and Cloudburst are taken to see the First One, whose people
seem surprised that the Pretenders are male. The Pretenders, of course,
allow the Femaxians to believe they're organic creatures. When
Cloudburst once again takes point and explains they are on a mission to
save their friends, the First One proposes a test of strength to see if
the newcomers are worthy. Landmine assumes that he will be the one to
be tested, but the First One sees something in Cloudburst and wants him
to take on the challenge.
What follows is a montage of Cloudburst being assaulted with missiles,
wrestling with monsters, and jousting on alien horses. Meanwhile, the
First One looks on with great interest. The way she's sitting on her
throne with her legs spread wide and her sword resting between her
thighs communicates a lot just with body language alone. I don't think
it's any sort of accident that she was drawn in this specific pose.
Let's explore this further for just a moment. Marvel was under a fairly
strict code in terms of what characters were allowed to overtly say and
do. The Comics Code Authority was sort of the comic book equivalent of
the Hays Code for television and film, and there were a lot of
regulations about good championing over evil, criminals not being too
sympathetic, law enforcement not being painted in a bad light, etc. The
sensibilities of the 1950's (when the Comics Code was put into place)
also prohibited not just overt sexual content but also "suggestive and
salacious illustration or suggestive posture."
So, with these guidelines in mind, this single, seemingly innocuous
panel of the First One is skirting the line and positively dripping with
provocative content. She says nothing in this panel (which is smart,
since the reader is left to supply their own imagination regarding what
she may be thinking) but the manner in which her legs are splayed apart
and her sword is casually resting between them is unmistakably
suggestive in nature. It's not overt, but I'm honestly surprised the
Marvel editors allowed it to go to print.
The First One is bald, incidentally, except for a long ponytail of
purple hair. Baldness is a sign of disease or age, so in some ways it
serves to counter the sexy design of the First One. Or maybe it adds to
it. I'm really not sure at this point. (In Star Trek: the Motion
Picture, the character of Ilya had a bald head and was supposed to be a
super sexy character. So, maybe that actually makes the First One more
appealing, on some level.)
So, I imagine the First One probably gets a sponge or something
off-panel, but when that's done, she congratulates Cloudburst on his
peak performance and invites him to her personal chambers to discuss his
well-deserved reward. Cloudburst swallows hard. He may be a
Transformer, but he's not an idiot, and the First One's designs on him
are pretty obvious at this point. Even Landmine looks markedly
concerned.
Inside her chambers, the First One suggests that Cloudburst get into
something more comfortable and relieve himself of his battle armor.
You'd think this would be the point where Cloudburst would have to
admit that it's just a disguise and that the armor can't actually come
off. But, instead, he manages to remove it, revealing a Pretender shell
that's wearing a Ghostbusters-style jumpsuit and boots. Why are the
Pretenders designed this way? What would be the point of being able to
take off their armor to reveal normal-looking clothing? I have no idea.
But, it's a thing they can do, apparently. I wonder how many layers
the First One thinks she's going to be getting him out of. Is it
possible there's a completely naked gigantic human under there? Well,
we sure won't find out... not if the Comics Code Authority had anything
to say about it.
The First One explains how Cloudburst is so utterly unlike any other
males she has met. The men on her world are primitive and savage, and
the women don't even allow them inside the inner sanctum. She leans in
for a kiss, offering Cloudburst a chance at becoming her Second One...
her mate. Bow chicka wow wow! Cloudburst is forced to reject her
proposal. At first, she assumes it's because he's not attracted to her.
Maybe it's the bald head? But at this point, he's forced to reveal the
real reason why. "Where I come from, there are no men, no women, no
mates," he explains. His Pretender shell pops open and he finally tells
her the truth.
Well, it probably doesn't go as well as Cloudburst had been hoping. He's
done pretty well up to this point trying to be reasonable, but I guess
some women just can't be reasoned with. The First One, filled now with
rage instead of desire, goes for her sword and knocks his head clean off
his body. Oops! Alas, poor Cloudburst, we hardly knew ye.
There's a throwaway line whose importance is diminished in light of what
has just happened, but I do want to explore it briefly. As Cloudburst
is being seduced, Landmine is regaling the Femaxians with tales of his
heroic exploits. "So there I was, versus fifty angry Sharkticons..." he
begins. This is a bizarre thing to include in the comic at this stage,
given that the only known time Transformers have ever interacted with
Sharkticons was in the far-flung future of The Transformers: the Movie
and subsequent stories like "The Big Broadcast of 2006." None of that
has taken place during the modern-day TRANSFORMERS comic book yet, so
how would Landmine know of the existence of Sharkticons? This feels
like temporal cross-contamination.
Anyway, the First One comes storming into the room, clutching the
severed head of Cloudburst and screaming about lies and betrayal.
Landmine is equally quick to anger, reaching for his sword, and he's
prepared to cut his way through every Femaxian in the room. However, I
think he recognizes on some level that this is the kind of behavior that
got him into trouble in the past. Cloudburst's approach has generally
served them well, and so he tries that instead. He lowers his weapon
and tries to be reasonable.
To her credit, the First One admits that she let her emotions get the
better of her. Cloudburst is repaired, she offers the Autobots the
crystals they came for, and they are allowed to leave on good terms. As
they emerge from the mountain, they are accosted by Darkwing and
Dreadwind. However, Sky Lynx has been also waiting, and he sneaks up
from behind them and knocks their heads together, knocking them out
cold.
The Pretenders return to the Meccanibals and give them those tasty
crystals as promised. Cloudburst offers them a new deal to counter the
previous one. Sky Lynx has the robot-spotters and their ship in his
clutches, but the Autobots promise to let them go on the condition that
they put those microchips back where they came from, or so help me.
Yes, Cloudburst is seriously proposing that they rebuild all the robots
they've eaten and allow them to go free as well. I'm not even sure such
things are possible, but the Meccanibals agree to do it.
Right before they leave, though, the Pretenders drop the bomb that the
robot-spotters are in fact partnered with the Decepticons. The
Meccanibals are (understandably) outraged, and the last thing we see is
the combined form of Dreadwing being chased by the Meccanibal ship
through the darkness of space.
So, Landmine and Cloudburst and Sky Lynx return to the Ark, but without
the microchips they desperately needed to repair the Autobots. So, in
some ways this whole adventure was a complete waste.
However, it's fun in some ways to see new characters get the spotlight.
After a number of years in which characters like Ratchet and Blaster and
Shockwave hogged the spotlight, I like when other characters get to
participate as well. I generally *prefer* to see stories about my
favorite characters... but if the comic had only focused on the 1984-85
stars from the cartoon, then we'd never have eventually gotten fan
favorites like Nightbeat or Thunderwing or Bludgeon. But, I'm getting
ahead of myself!
Next issue promises the first appearance of the Micromasters. It's
bittersweet, in some fashion, since they will be the last new
Transformers introduced by Bob Budiansky before he moves onto greener
pastures. So, we'll look at that story next month!
Zob (never thought I'd go out of my way to buy a bag of ground walnut
shells, but here we are)